Christmas has a unique way of turning small moments into significant emotional experiences. Christmas arguments usually happen when families gather, expectations rise, people are tired, and old patterns resurface at precisely the wrong time. Even the most grounded adult can react quickly to a familiar tone, a long-standing criticism, or a comment that touches an old wound. De-escalation is not
Many of us feel anxious about setting boundaries at Christmas—especially with family. The pressure to “get along”, “not upset anyone” and “just be festive” often leads to emotional exhaustion and resentment. Boundaries aren’t about distance. They’re about clarity. They tell people what supports you and what doesn’t. And yes, setting boundaries at Christmas can feel uncomfortable, but not setting them
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Launching today: The Christmas Family Toolkit ! Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and warm nostalgia. Yet for many people, it’s the most emotionally challenging season of the year. It’s a common time for Christmas family conflict. Maybe it’s the uncle who insists on bringing up politics. Maybe it’s the aunt who openly critiques your life
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Thanksgiving, or any major family gathering, can bring warmth, connection and laughter. But it also has the potential for controversial conversations to ruin the day. Someone mentions a political view, a value, or a topic you feel strongly about, and it triggers you. Suddenly, your heart pounds, your voice rises and you find yourself stepping into a conflict you’d rather
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I used to have a colleague who would get angry about everything. He was unapproachable, touchy and really negative. As a young trainee lawyer, it was really hard to know how to handle his outbursts in meetings or after an alcohol fueled lunch (this was a long time ago…) I would freeze, repress my own irritation with him and find
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Conflict is often painted as something to avoid: messy, uncomfortable, and draining. But in reality, conflict is part of being human. It’s how we grow, clarify our needs, and build authentic relationships. That’s where self-care during conflict becomes essential. Yet when emotions intensify, it’s easy to lose sight of yourself. To overextend, overthink, or shut down completely. Self-care during conflict
Read moreWhat happens when we stop and truly examine the stories we tell ourselves? Conflict is often about the stories we are telling ourselves and we replay these narratives, keeping us stuck in conflictual patterns. What if you could see the conflict from a different perspective? In his book The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves, psychoanalyst Stephen Grosz
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After years of not speaking, an estranged family member wants to reconnect. The last time you spoke, it was on bad terms and although time has passed, you’re not sure how you feel about them reaching out to you. My previous posts have focused on reaching out, and this one is about being contacted by an estranged family member unexpectedly.
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Conflict is a part of life. At its best, it can help us grow, understand one another, and strengthen our relationships. At its worst, it leaves us confused, doubting ourselves, and emotionally drained. Like conflict with a narcissist. It’s damaging and destructive. If you’ve ever been caught in conflict with someone who twists your words, blames you for their mistakes,
Read moreYou’ve been courageous and reached out to an estranged family member after years apart. You’re encouraged by their agreement to talk over the phone or meet in person. But what are you going to say? It’s been so long, there’s a lot to talk about and underlying all of this is the elephant in the room. Do you talk about
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