I get asked this question a lot. How do I survive divorcing a narcissist? The truth is, there is no easy answer to this as conflict with a narcissist is hard ! If you’re reading this, the narcissist in your life has probably made you feel angry, hurt, exasperated and your mental health is already suffering. It’s really hard to
Often during a negotiation, one negotiator may threaten to end discussions and instead pursue a claim in the courts; an employee may threaten to leave their job if they don’t get a pay rise; a customer may say they will write a negative review about your business if they don’t get the service they want. Threats follow failed attempts to
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In this two- part blog post, I’ll be writing about the things that hold us back from asking for what we want. The second part will focus on ways to ask for what you want without it leading to conflict or ill-feeling. I’ve struggled with this and I’m sure that you have too. It’s no surprise, we all find it
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In negotiations, it’s often tempting to show strength by saying something early on, like “this is my final offer”. It’s supposed to emphasise that you won’t take any nonsense, you are fed up with the way things are going or that your position is so strong, you can afford to let the opportunity to settle go. In a recent case
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If like me, you are wondering why the government would be in favour of a No-Deal Brexit, here’s my explanation. It’s a negotiation technique aimed at forcing the other side to give in to unreasonable terms. The purpose of this post is to look at the latest Brexit position from a conflict resolution perspective, not to debate whether I am
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If you’ve been advised to mediate your dispute or you and your opponent have decided that this would be the best way forward, you’re probably wondering what it will involve. Mediation is an alternative way of resolving a dispute and you may be using this procedure, as well as litigation or negotiations, as the conflict develops. There are several benefits
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After a few days with Italian clients and Russian opponents, I’ve had time to reflect on how differently the two cultures communicate. Regional differences within countries and personality types can also influence whether we trust enough to disclose valuable information and how we express ourselves. These are considerations which need to be taken into account when preparing for a
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In my first job, I attempted to negotiate a higher salary than I was offered. I knew I was worth more but they had the advantage of the economic crisis. They knew I wouldn’t find another job and so their response to me was, “no, but we will review your salary six months from now.” When the time came, I
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In any conflict, the parties adopt a position. Lawyers and other stakeholders help to entrench that position, usually by citing the law, until a court decides who is right and who is wrong. It’s a win/lose outcome which may be appropriate in some circumstances. However, if the parties decide to negotiate a solution, they have to edge closer towards
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Deciding what not to disclose in a negotiation is often a matter of personal judgment. Sometimes, there are legal obligations as to what you must disclose and in particular scenarios, you must act in good faith. This may entail disclosing information even if it damages your case. The BATNA In Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Ury and
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